The One with the F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I told my friend today that life is a weird thing. I think it might have been one of my most wise statements ever. 4 years before, I thought I am going to be one of those people who don’t have or can’t form long term friendships with more than one person at a time. I started my college life with this belief but also with a wish that I prove myself wrong. Well, guess what?? I am pretty sure I did. I know its too soon to look back, but I am doing it now and getting amazed at myself in the process. I think no matter what happens there is one lesson that I will always carry with me because of these four years and that would be : Don’t ever dare assume that you know what’s gonna happen in your future, you will never get it right. The guy who actually brought out the evil devil in me every time he spoke is actually one of the few people I trust in my life now. The passing acquaintance to whom I started talking out of curiosity is one of the most important persons in my life. The girl with whom I did not even have a simple conversation for the first full year is the person I can’t be without talking for a day now.  There are so many many more examples that I can come up with. So yeah, life is a weird thing. But I really hope that it doesn’t reverse back on me. I like this phase now and I hope it continues. I think I am going to try and explain what I feel with a small example. For every F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan here, I think you would know this. It is the last scene of the entire series, the place where Monica says that it would be a good idea for all of them to leave their copies of the key to her apartment. She then points out it is an amazing thing that each one of them have lived in that apartment one time or the other. To which Ross replies, that he hasn’t. But it actually turns out that he has when he tried to make it as a dancer in New York. I have always found that incident very endearing. For me it is a testimonial that no matter for how long we stay friends with a person, there is always something that we don’t know, some topic that we haven’t explored before. It is proof that the magical bond never wears off. So I would like to move on from this phase of my life thinking that there will always be an opportunity for me and my friends to meet for a cup of coffee in central perk if we want to.

The Kite Runner – A run towards salvation

The Kite Runner is a novel written by Afghan-American author Khaled Hosseini. The Kite runner tells the story of Amir, a young boy from the Wazir Akbar Khan district of Kabul and Hassan who is Amir’s personal kite runner, close friend while also being Amir’s father's young Hazara servant. The beauty of the story is that despite being set against a backdrop of tumultuous events, from the fall of Afghanistan's monarchy through the military intervention by the soviet union, the flight of refugees to Pakistan and the United States, and the rise of the Taliban regime, it is a very personal and intimate story about a boy who lost his path while he was very young and spent his entire adult life trying to find his way back.

Khaled Hosseini is a genius who creates characters that are so easy to relate to, understand, hate and sometimes also empathize with. He takes us into a world that we have never seen before yet makes feel as home as we would be in our hometown. Amir is a typical young boy who wants his father’s love and respect. Amir likes to write but hides this from his father (Baba) for feat that his father would criticize him but he is comfortable in sharing his passion with his father’s close friend Rahim Khan. While he gets the former in abundance he never feels that he acquires the latter. Hassan is the boy servant of the house, the son of the servant of the house, Ali. Hassan is the perfect Kite Runner who predicts the landing spot of every kite perfectly and brings it back to his friend and master Amir always without fail. On one such kite running event in the village turns a nightmare for the family. A notorious bully Aseef, who has always mocked Amir for befriending a Hazara boy, corners Hassan and decides to teach “the Hazara boy” his place by assaulting him physically and rapes him. Amir witnesses the act but is too scared to intervene and keeps quiet about in a fear of losing his baba’s respect for his act of cowardice. But guilt overrides him and he starts to move away from Hassan and even becomes responsible for driving Ali and Hassan from the house by accusing Hassan of stealing. Though Hassan leaves, Amir’s guilt never leaves him. Five years later, in order to escape from the soviet controlled afghan Amir and his baba leave Afghanistan and settle in California where Amir finishes high school and college and goes on to becomes a novelist. Life goes on as Amir marries fellow refugee Soraya and also baba gets diagnosed with cancer and passes away. Life brings another twist where Amir receives a phone call from Rahim khan who calls him back to Peshawar. Amir goes and learns that Hassan was actually his half brother and also the shocking fact that he was murdered by the Taliban. Rahim also discloses the fact that he knew about Hassan’s rape all along and urges Amir to set things straight by rescuing Hassan’s son Sohrab from an Orphanage in Kabul. On reaching there, Amir finds that Sohrab has been suffering the same that happened to Hassan on that fateful day. He vows to bring back Sohrab to America. After a lot of obstacles, he finds Sohrab, brings him back to America, adopts him but never quite manages to grow close to the kid. Sohrab being highly traumatized and guilt ridden due to what happened to him in Afghanistan builds a wall around him and doesn’t let anybody come in. Amir and Soraya try a lot but fail always. But then, on one fateful day the change begins when Amir volunteers to be Sohrab’s kite runner. 

This book is impeccably written with all the sensitive issues handled in such a way that we are lost in the story without realizing that the issue is controversial but in the same time understanding how deep and troublesome is the issue, be it the portrayal of Taliban, Hassan’s rape or the illicit affair of Amir’s father with Hassan’s mother. It is a heart breaking tale of small but vital mistakes that changed the life of two young boys in a way that they never would have imagined or understood. The book clearly brings out the effect of a father’s love, words and actions of the young mind of a boy while also depicting that guilt is probably the most deadly of all weapons in the world when it comes to self destruction. Amir’s father guilt on his affair was always a big shadow on his relationship with Amir once Hassan left the house. Amir’s guilt over his silence over Hassan’s fate formed the basis of who he became as an adult and was like a dark cloud that never moved away from his sky. More than that, the background is so well defined in the book that we can easily conjure up images of the trouble free Afghanistan, the refugee camp in California and also the post Taliban Afghanistan. We are left with a sense of nostalgia of Amir’s childhood Afghanistan when he returns to Kabul fifteen years later. Khaled paints a wonderful picture with words that give every color a different shade with every stroke. For a single incident, we are left with a multitude of emotions, pity for the child Hassan, sometimes Amir, hate for Aseef, respect for the man Hassan became and also a great sense of grief for the child Sohrab who misses his family so much that you start to hurt for him.  Khaled moves us with the book while giving us a glimpse of the various emotions a man feels in his lifetimes.

The longest ride- Start of a Journey

Growing up, I was often an aloof kid. I liked spending time with others, enjoyed my times with friends but none of those moments or memories feel important now. When I was in 6th, my cousin lent me a book, Enid blyton’s work. I don’t remember the title but I remember it was one of those famous five books. I had gone to visit them and she had school. The books helped me pass time. I also read an R.L. Stine book. It was the start of my long standing affair with books. It helped me see the world in a way that I sometimes think not a lot of people do, it made me a person with a lot of strong thoughts opinions and values. Too soon, I was immersed in this world of books with very rarely coming up for air. All holidays, vacations even schooldays were incomplete without my books. I became a member of the local library. Till now, I think that that’s the best thing that ever happened to me. In my teens, I was blessed because books happened to me. They had an impact on me like nothing else and they helped in a lot of ways that I cannot even begin to understand let alone try to describe. My passion for books made me start to write and my passion for writing eventually made me think a lot than girls at that age would normally do. It was part blessing part curse. They have helped me accept people, world , situations and have healed me whenever I needed them to. Every book that I have read is special. I would never forget them, I would never forget the characters, the stories, the hidden meanings and the sleepless nights that would follow once I finish a book as I would review each instance of the story over and over in my head. This is one such review but the difference is it is the first one that I am writing, the first one that I am sharing.

It is about the book “The longest Ride” by Nicholas Sparks. I started reading his books a couple of years back I think. I read “THE LAST SONG” by him first. The book managed to make me feel happy and sad at the same time for the book spoke about an irreplaceable loss and also about the beginning of a very sweet journey.The longest ride manages to do something similar to do that. Let me tell you what the story is about first. The story is about the life of two couples(Luke and Sophia), one in early stages of love trying to get a sense of what this new change in life means to them, and another an old couple(Ira and Ruth) who fell in love with each other in the innocent but turbulent times of the Second World war. Ira and Ruth are Jewish, Ruth having left all her family behind in Germany fearing the approaching holocaust. The timid Ira likes Ruth at first sight and slowly courts her in the ever-so-cute “Let me buy you an ice cream” way. Their romance is one of those classic Nicholas Spark romances where the shy couple turns their story into a passionate love affair all along living with a touch of tragedy. The tragedy here, being that due to an accident in the war, Ira could not father a child. Nevertheless, they get married and enjoy a life that has the potential to be the envy of everybody who ever wanted a fairy tale experience. They travel a lot, buy a lot of happening and not-so-happening art works, Ruth does it because she loves art and Ira does it to see her light up every time she looked at the art works. Such was their love. The story begins with Ira thinking about his dead wife (Ruth) and their love story as he himself calls it while nearing the certainty of death.(He wrecks his car while trying to visit their love spot for one last time). Meanwhile, there is a young man and woman (Luke and Sophia) experiencing the feeling of falling in love with their whole life ahead of them as once Ira and Ruth did. They are a contrast couple as they are from totally different backgrounds. Sophia is a child brought up in a huge family that runs a café studying in North Carolina with a ambition of working in a museum one day. Luke is a total hunk, a typical cowboy and a professional bull rider with a very broke ranch to run. They fall for each other fast and hard. Still, love isn’t always enough to stay together. They struggle through each other’s choices of careers , the distance it might entail and the extent of trust they show on each other before they accept the fact that they are going to spend their lives together.

Though the story shifts between these pairs a lot, throughout the book I had a feeling that these love stories are not that different from each other. Granted that the times were different between the present times and 1940’s, but the basic sense of the feeling remains the same, love. The book filled me with hope that though times have changed, the pace of the world has increased love as a feeling as an experience essentially remains the same. It is still about comfort, respect, affection, priorities and also about the absolute sense of right when you fall irrevocably for somebody in your life. On a personal level, I actually liked that Ira’s character was of a simple man who fell in love with a complex passionate woman(Ruth) and instead of resenting her deep character; he embraced with all his life and loved his wife with the same intensity all his life. His wife Ruth understands him in a way that every man would want to be understood, challenges him and also as she should brings out the best in him by simply trusting him to be. As for Luke and Sophia, they too revel in their differences, fascinated by each other that lead them to understand the other person like no one has and no one will. In the end, it is Luke and Sophia who rescue Ira from the car wreck while Ira in turn rescues Luke and Sophie from life’s hard choices in an absolutely Voila-type of climax. (Read the book to know more!) All in all it is a sweet story, absolutely impeccably written by Mr. Sparks which leaves you the feeling that though not right now but eventually everything will be alright because that’s the order of the universe

Growing up can be a joyful necessity!

Every time somebody (usually a very formidable adult/relative) says “grow up! How long are you going to act like a kid?” we start fuming mentally giving retaliating “why should I? I will grow up when I want to and why are you forcing me ,etc etc !!!” Well, let me tell you I know all this very clearly because I have gone over these sentences in my mind so many times its hard to keep track of the number. And it was an added advantage/burden that I was almost the youngest in my family. But, there came a day when I wasn’t the youngest anymore and frankly, I didn’t want to be. The small bundles of joy that were actually my niece and nephew brought out this change in me. Seeing them cozily cuddled in my akka and manni’s lap I suddenly wanted to grow up so fast that it wasn’t even remotely possible. I was an aunt..Can you imagine? Me, the always-kid girl was an aunt and wanted to give these very small but special newcomers so many things that I even shocked myself. Everywhere I saw a toy shop I wanted to buy a toy car or a doll for them (not that I earn!) , and in dress shops I lost literally all interest in buying something for me every time I came across a small frock or a tiny trouser. Every day I want to spend with my gorgeous and handsome sweetheart. Till they came into my life, I was in no hurry to enter into the grown up phase of my life (going to a job, earning, etc..) but now? I just can’t wait for that phase to begin because I have some important people to shower gifts on and care for. I want to spoil them rotten as my uncles and aunts did for me and I want them to feel the way I feel about my uncle and aunt. This new part of my family has changed and made me realize that growing up might not be such a bad thing when you have love to share and taking up responsibilities can actually feel good when you care and protect your loved ones. Thank you to my sister and brother for this wonderful gift and for making me want to be an adult.

PS: I am sorry if I sound very emotional or over excited but honestly that’s how I feel nowadays.

Who’s to blame? – is that the question??

It’s going to be 61 long years since we regained the right from British to call India “our country” our home. It was a long battle which lasted almost a century maybe more but we did it. Lately, maybe for the last 10 years there have been a lot of voices pointing many things that are obviously not going right for our nation at the moment. Lack of safety in many areas, lack of employment, corruption everywhere, ignorant and careless government, human rights violation, inflation and what not. But the saddest part is the deed stops right there- after voicing their concerns people expect some magically powerful being to take over and set things right. Is that even possible? After all we live in a real world and not a world of fiction. We blame around 600 people for the above while our country has over 1.2 billion people who if worked well and with a set of principles can turn our nation into a superpower. It’s no use telling we don’t have the infrastructure, the facilities, and the structure for it to happen. How did other countries get there?? Nothing grows into anything without starting from the scratch.  So, I think it is the ideal time for India to undergo a change; in short the country is going to have to grow up and start facing things head on. This is only possible when each one of the 1.2 billion people make an effort , take a step , a stand and feel it’s my home , it’s my duty to set things right . The step might be small but the results might be and I hope will be staggering. Specifically, it is the duties of the country’s younger population to take it upon their head since it’s for them they are going to be improving the standards of their home. It’s very simple -if your house appliance breaks down, do u blame somebody or do you start working to see what can be done and how it can be done? I think I make my point clear now. It’s time to stop casting the blame and it’s time to start asking the right questions.  

what's in a number ?

Recently, a kid came up to me in a library hands tied behind his back, and said “HI! I am Jigar. What’s your name? “Before I could come up with a reply (my name)... I was stunned by the way he spoke... so seemingly confident with himself and the way he went up to each and every person there to introduce himself and chat with them with an ease and charm that I m sorry to say even some of my batch mates find hard to exude. It is then that it struck me that how we conduct ourselves, how we interact and how we think is not a reflection of what our age is but it is actually vice versa. Ok, how do we define age? The number of years since we are born... Right?? It is just simple mathematics and a tool to keep track of the time of our existence. It’s just a number. Shakespeare said what’s in a name? I say what’s in a number? That is one kind of age. The other kind, which is actually overlooked (a lot) in our society, is the mental age or the social age. These two terms are interchangeable as one affects the other. This is actually based on our journey since our birth... How much we know, how much do we understand and how do we carry ourselves. There are people who are still kids at heart not because they like having fun but because most of the times they are unaware of what is actually going on around them and how it is going to affect them. Similarly, there are people who might be considered kids because of their “age” but know and understand a lot than their peers. My point being that just because it’s been twenty five years since somebody was born doesn’t make them an adult and just because somebody was born a bit late they don’t have to remain a kid for a longer time just to suit the norms of the society and the people around them. We age when we take decisions and stick to them, we age whenever we learn new things, have new experiences! In other words, we grow up when we face the world on our own; understand what who we are and what we want. It is time now that this age starts deciding who is a kid and who is not and our society enjoys seeing the kids growing up in this way.